I can’t make you love me
And you won’t even smile
I’m not sure just what I did
That brought me to this point
I’ve been so angry, and I’ve been so hurt
All you do is shatter me in this dungeon that I built
My heart had hoped, and my head has wished
But underneath that skin of yours is needles and swords
Should have taken the initiative when I had the chance
But now I’m stuck, and I can’t find freedom
Shush shush my dear, it’s only just your hormones
These silly emotions mixed up inside of you aren’t real, I promise
You have no reason to cry
No reason to faint
No reason to believe anything is truly wrong
Oh my dear, clearly he loves you, you know this to be true!
Look, you’re taken care of. Everything is alright. It’s always been alright.
Tut, tut, my dear! It’s only your hormones raging into the night. Women often confuse the emotions with reality. Your reality must be slipping away.
You feel too deeply, you rationalize too much. You think too long into things.
You’re not enough. See dearest? You aren’t meeting his needs. So obviously he can’t meet yours.
Everyone else knows the Right side. They’ll all smile and tell you how proud they are.
You’re delusional. You’re reading it too deeply.
You’re wrong.
But….. am I?
I’d rather stay inside and watch from afar
To stay far away, so you can’t see my scar
I’d rather keep quiet when you’re all around
Than to ever let on my ships run aground
Isolate myself with my insecurity
Surrender myself to the absurdity
That I will eventually be okay.
I like to cry alone when no one can hear
I like to drown out alone with my fear
Wherever I go, I know I can paint a smile for you
I’ll tell you I’m fine, although all the while, it’s true
I’m dying inside, a little more each time I’m with you.
Confident I collapse to my anxiety
Hoping that somehow you’ll hear me
The emptiness inside suffocates my heart
Will anyone come and break me apart?
Break me apart to let me out
Isolated willingly by all my doubt and fear
Wishing somehow someone might see me here
Reach deep inside, and draw me out
Can anyone come and sate this drought?
Last night I had a dream about you and I. You were living in your life, and I in mine.
You represented all that I am going through now. And it hurt.
All I wanted was you. All I’d ever wanted was you.
You just never wanted me the same.
In this dream while we danced in our own separate lives, you raising your kids, and I raising mine, you were happy. You didn’t want to leave. You had found all that you were looking for, and I was still lonely.
What broken mess that I encounter, the tears they were so bitter.
All I wished for has never come true. And I wait for the day that I will find such happiness that brightens up you.
onlybyyourblood 