Binding Principles

I bought a beautiful little book pendant from a friend of mine this past week. The tiny leather bound book is just over an inch tall, and remarkably well made. Our friend Travis Martin makes them b…

Source: Binding Principles

Advertisements

Missing You

I’m missing you tonight.  And all the little things we used to do.

I’m stuck inside the memories, leaving a gaping hole inside my heart.  One where you should be.

I’m missing you tonight.  And all the rainy days, the sunny days, the cold and windy lonely days, we spent inside your house at night, eating cereal on the kitchen counter while a light shone in from the living room.

The time we poured coffee through the coffee maker.

The time you lost your gas cap, we drove back to find it.  It had been run over at the stoplight so you had to buy a new one.

Trying on dresses at the department stores, fanticizing glamor for the future.

We said we’d be sisters forever.  Forever came to an end too soon.

And I’m missing you so dearly.  The hole in my heart I can’t ignore much longer.

I’ve cried so many times wishing for your company, but I know those days are gone.

 

We’ve grown up, and you’ve moved on.

Even now, I hope you know I still love you, and I miss you, and I wish you ever so much happiness.  I hope he gives you the joy you need, and I’m sorry I missed out on the good times, the hard times, the most important loving times.  You two went through so much and I was so far away.

Now here I am with two kids.  You’re off to new adventures, new friends and family to join you.

Here in my lonely memories, I still hold onto the times we had even though the memories they make me sad.

I want you to know I’ll always be right here if you ever decided to come back my way.  I know it won’t be the same, those days are long behind us, and the future has no room for two little girls with adventures in their dreams.

I had only ever hoped you’d share those adventures with me.

 

Procrastination

Hello friends!
I don’t know if anybody even follows me anymore.  This might just be a shout out in the dark.

I just submitted a third short story for publication.  I’m going to be featured in another anthology!
The premise of the project was to write outside of your usual comfortzone.
My usual genre is High Fantasy/Fantasy.  The category picked for me was Noir.
After looking up what that meant, I was tickled by the anticipation to write a 1940’s conflict.
The first scene came to me in black and white.  I watched it play out live a movie in my head.  And then the next scene followed.  And…. and…. and then….

Well, then I was stuck, see?
So I spent a few weeks trying to get a handle on the story and feel out the way it wanted to be written.

Finally, as the deadline rapidly approaches, I’ve conqured the Voice and am writing at it every moment I get.

Today I finished the final edits and off it went.  Now I wait to know if they liked it, and whether or not I did a good job.

So, Procrastination.  Thats the name of the game.  And each generation does it the same.
Personally, I deal strongly with the idea that I’m a Nobody, and my stories and tales aren’t worth the effort.  Somebody will never read them.  Somebody wont like them.  Anybody can see that I’ve written a book, but as a Nobody, Anybody could leave the book sitting there unopened.

This depression and loathesome style of Self-Worth is entirely common.  Much too common.

Tonight I finished day 2 of a pretty hardcore workout challenge.  It’s not Insanity, it’s a simple challenge that’s amped up to get you going.
I started it yesterday ((obviously)), and the motivation to workout and stick with it is high!  Motivation pumping, my adrenaline is like, “Lets kick this Booty in the Butt!”
And then tomorrow morning will come.  And I’ll face down the depression all over again.

An endless cycle of procrastination and looming deadlines, because I feel inadequate to write the book.  Publish the book.  Make people want the book- in essence, make them want me.

It’s why I barely write here.  I don’t know how to garner a Following, I don’t know how to promote myself.  I don’t even know what I’m doing.

….but little by little I’m doing it.
I’m writing.  I’m making myself heard.  I’m striving to meet the Goal before me, and get into my Pre-Pregnancy jeans!  My wedding dress!  A new ball gown by Nobember!

……my own High Fantasy novel sitting on shelves in Barnes and Noble.  *is struck with starry-eyed dreams*
Going to Fantasy conventions, Comic-Con, Con-DFW, etc….
Feeling the gratification of knowing I am a /Somebody/ instead of a Nobody.

Yeah.  So that’s me.
How are you?