Dancing The Dance

I’ve been thinking of you lately

All of the things that were good

In all of the leaving it’s easy to emphasize the bad

I admit I have been angry

For all the things you misunderstood

In all of the grieving it’s easy to know why I was so mad

But, back when it all began

You held out your hand

Quietly asked of me to dance

I danced the dance for you

I took a chance

I moved away for a hopeless romance

Gave up family and friends to make you a home

In the end I’m the one to turn up alone

I took a chance for you

I danced the dance

I ran away for a hopeless romance

All of the hopeless nights ending in grace

Until you turned all my pain in my face

Left me there wondering just what I did

Tearing down walls on the lies that you hid

I was the one they cast out in the end

Dividing from me my family and friends

Once, everything was perfect

We were taking on the world

That tiny town was big enough for me

The chances were worth it

Opportunities all swirled

Until they took lonely turns dividing your company

I close my eyes and I can see

Your hand waiting for me

As you asked me to dance

I danced the dance for you

I took a chance

I moved away for a hopeless romance

Gave up family and friends to make you a home

In the end I’m the one to turn up alone

I took a chance for you

I danced the dance

I ran away for a hopeless romance

All of the hopeless nights ending in grace

Until you turned all my pain in my face

Left me there wondering just what I did

Tearing down walls on the lies that you hid

I was the one they cast out in the end

Dividing from me my family and friends

Forgiveness, I know it isn’t easy

You didn’t even strive to deserve me

Spending all of your time lying

Chasing away the chance to win me back

But in the end I still remember when you asked me to dance

I danced the dance for you

I took a chance

I moved away for a hopeless romance

Gave up family and friends to make you a home

In the end I’m the one to turn up alone

I took a chance for you

I danced the dance

I ran away for a hopeless romance

All of the hopeless nights ending in grace

Until you turned all my pain in my face

Left me there wondering just what I did

Tearing down walls on the all the lies you hid

But how can I be angry after all of these years

Why am I still wasting all of these tears

You’ve gone away and God closed the door

Leaving me there alone on the dance floor

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Remnants of the Past

I remember a different life.  You can’t hold that against me.
I hold to a different way. You can’t hold that against me.
All the pain I hide inside, all of me that’s wasting away.
All the memories of a distant life, they’re fading out slowly.

You never wanted me for who I was, but only what you could see.
You never wanted me for who I am, but what you want in me.
I tried my hardest to continue pushing on,
But I can’t push on if I don’t know what I’m fighting for.
I tried my hardest, but my hardest is gone
I can’t push on if I don’t know what I’m fighting for.

I remember a different life.  You can’t hold that against me.
I hold to a different way.  You can’t hold that against me.
All the pain I hide inside, all of me that’s wasting away.
All the memories of a distant life, they’re fading out slowly.

 

All That’s Left

Tear my heart out, rip my soul in two.
Then rebuild me to the image that best suits you.
I’ll hide away all the parts of me that hurt,
I’ll wrestle my soul down to convert.

I’ll pretend to be who I’m not until night has drawn.
Cry alone until another empty day will dawn.

Take away the illusions of love inside my head.
Remind me dreams of romance and hope are dead.
I’ve got nothing left to offer that hasn’t been torn apart,
What am I supposed to do with the rest of my broken heart?

Faet & Fantasy : Starlight

After dinner, Breigh and Kiena left the party so they could find a quiet place to talk.

Breigh’s eyes watched her with purpose, as though memorizing all of her features. The intensity took Kiena by surprise, and she did her best to keep her eyes from meeting his.

A dark lock of hair fell into his face, which he attempted to tuck behind his ear as he looked away into the starlight. “I think the snow looks best when gently lit by the night sky.”

Kiena’s lips drew gently to the side as she took in the view, “Night is my favorite time of all. Who can sleep through this amazing view?” She laughed, “I will never understand those who go to sleep early to rise before the sun. They miss the best hours of the night. How do they ever see the stars? How can they truly enjoy the moonlight?”

“I suppose we will never know. Though I do agree with you.” Breigh slipped into a moment of contemplative silence.

A breeze gently stirred the air around them, like the forest let out a soft exhale into the stillness. It swirled her hair just enough to take it into her eyes. She brushed the hair to the side of her face, before feeling Breigh’s eyes on her again. Shyly Kiena turned to look at him, curious to watch his expression as he adored her.

“You’re beautiful,” he said softly. “The moonlight gives your dark hair a silver glow. I have thought this many times, though never said it.”

Kiena’s heart fluttered for a moment as she nervously curled her shoulders in. Her thoughts turned to the nervous fluttering in her stomach, hoping it would go away.

Breigh continued, “I also want you to know, the way you give of yourself to bring joy to everyone else is admirable.”

She smiled, turning to meet his eyes, “Thank you.”

“Don’t let it rob you though, Kiena.” His gaze became concerned, as he reached out to brush her cheek with the back of his hand. “You need someone to lean on, too. You give to everyone else, but rarely have I noticed you receiving.”

Tears threatened to flood her vision as she turned away, suddenly thinking of Rynn. “I had a friend,” her voice a mere whisper as she blinked several times. “I didn’t know I would ever need another.”

She felt his warm hand light on hers, his fingers soft and gentle as they curled around hers. Her eyes looked to it, a gentle sniff followed the first silent tear.

“Everyone needs a friend, my dear,” Breigh responded sympathetically.

There was truth in his statement, Kiena did not deny this. The truth could not keep her from looking back to remember, though. “There was one person who knew me best. We did everything together. He was my dearest and closest of friends.” She looked out at the forest beyond the dell, to a world she used to explore tiny patches at a time with Rynn. “We were inseparable, though I don’t deny we had our disagreements. And after he was married and moved on to a new place where I could not follow- well, in short I didn’t know how deeply a heart could shatter until then.” By now the tears were freely flowing down her cheeks. “After I had given so freely of my heart, and trusted so deeply with my soul, there wasn’t a reason to find someone else to share it with, no one else who would understand quite the same.”

“I think you give your colony very little credit,” his voice remained gentle, though Kiena detected a hint of a tease.

Biting back the ache in her chest, where once she had felt complete, Kiena nodded, but didn’t respond.

“It’s okay,” Breigh spoke again after another moment of silence. “You don’t have to tell me anything. And I’m sorry I made you cry.” He turned her chin to look at her. “You can tell me in your time. Until then, I hope to ease the ache in your heart and make those eyes of yours shine again. As they always should.”

Comforted by his words, Kiena tightened her fingers around his hand, and followed through with the compulsive thought to lean her head in his shoulder.

They sat together like this for a long while in the comfort of silence under the draw of brilliant darkness watching the stars shine.

Faet & Fantasy: Dark Blue

Time was counting down as Kiena finished getting ready for the banquet.  She had picked a dark blue dress that gently sparkled when light caught it.  As she looked into the mirror, a brief memory rushed to her mind of Rynn.

“Blue is your color,” his eyes smiled as he spoke the words.

Gazing at her reflection, she tried to make the memory pass before it crept into her heart and made her cry.  Kiena turned quickly to the window, touching the glass.  The glass fogged under the warmth of her finger tips.

“I miss you, old friend,”  She whispered, closing her eyes and letting the cold permeate her fingers, the sensation reaching to her wrist.

It was better to feel the cold, than heartache.  Perhaps that’s why she loved winter so much?  The cold created a numbness that one constantly needed to fight in order to survive, leaving little room to feel emotion.  Winter Fae were not so touched by the cold, and she being half-winter thoroughly enjoyed the cold.

Regaining her countenance, Kiena noticed Breigh flying toward her ledge.  Suddenly her heart beat felt as though it would fly from her chest.  She hadn’t expected to feel so off-guard just watching him.

The moment of sadness instantly vanished, leaving Kiena in twisted nervous knots as she opened to door to Breigh.

His eyes sparkled, smiling brightly as he took her in, “Kiena, you look brilliant.”  He extended his arm to her, “Shall we?”

She reached for his arm, a new feeling of joy reaching into her heart as he led her out the door, and into the beautiful winter twilight.

Dream, Love.

**This was written over a year ago, and accepted to be published.  It never published, and there is no sign that it will ever be published.  So I finally decided it was time to put it on my blog.The theme was “Write a piece inspired by a song”.

The song I wrote this to was “Alive” by Jose Gonzalez.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tick. Thump. Tick. Thump. Tick. Thump. Tick.

The sound of your heart echoes the rhythm of the clock.

Comforted by the rise and fall of your chest in steady breaths, I know I’m safe.

You work so hard, with very little return. It’s apparent in the way you sigh tonight.

You hesitate. You forget to breathe.

Gently squeezing your hand, I nestle closer. Beside of you, I know it’s going to be okay.

Do you know how much I love you?

Does my love help?

Does it ease your weary mind?

It isn’t fair the way life jades us. Breaking our spirit so we give up chasing fantasies and childhood dreams.

What once brought joy, brings tears.

What once caused your heart to flutter, now leaves your heart broken.

Darkness settled, and it swept away your smile.  It took your soul with it, leaving your voice hollow.

I remember what your laugh used to sound like.

I remember the glint of passion in your eyes.

I miss the warmth of your smile.

My fingers brush gently through your hair as your eyes move under tired lids.

It comforts me to know you’re dreaming. Whatever are you dreaming of?

Am I still in your dreams?

Rushing from one thing to the next leaves you tired and aching, longing just to sit and clear your head.

The stress of the day stops melting away, instead it festers and gnaws at you, dragging you down a lonesome, tired road of anguish.

It shouldn’t be this way. Seeing it manifest causes my heart to break.

What can I do? What does your heart need that I can give?

Can I alleviate the burden long enough to give you rest?

Do you remember how to rest? To give in to the refreshing tides of sleep.

When it seems the money is always needed, or the stack of bills won’t shrink any smaller, and nothing is going your way, reach out and take my hand. It’s not moving from where I left it.

It was promised to you. And you keep it.

I’ll be here when you come home. Rubbing knots from your neck and shoulders, soothing the tenderness with a gentle kiss.

My arms might be frail, but they’re strong enough to hold you when you can’t hold yourself.

Let me carry your burdens. Give me your broken dreams, let me help grow something new. When you lose sight of tomorrow, let me hope for you.

I need you. I need your warmth. I need your life. I need your smile.

Night only lasts for a moment, and then the sun peaks the horizon again. Gradually, as though giving hope to the world, with a dimly lit break of dawn.

It just takes time. To everything, there is a season. This too shall pass.

Remember this when it seems to never end.

When the world caves in and all you hear is seconds ticking away, remember my hope is drawn from the rhythm of your beating heart.

 

Brave

Go.

Simple.  Easy even.

Just go.

I hear it in a gentle, quiet voice.

Run.  Free.  Brave.  Bold.

Why is this so hard?

I deserve it.

Or do I?

Can I?

Why am I still fighting?

A battle I can’t win.

Go,  I hear.

Just go.

I can go.  I will go.  I must!

……if I don’t, does that make me a coward?

If I do, does that mean I’m free?

Do I deserve freedom?

I can go.  I will. I must.

Running wild, with hope and abandon.

Lover, I greet you in the morning.

Together we pursue a life ahead.

In the morning we hasten.

A new life, together, to begin.