The Lover

There was a Lover who created a garden.
Perfection displayed in brilliance.
To the trees He said, “Bear fruit of many kinds, for my Bride is coming, and she will need nourished.”
To the ground He said, “Bring forth vegetables to sustain her, and satisfy her hunger.”
To each plant He said, “Bring forth vitality, to protect and heal her sickness and ailment. She will find healing in you when complication may arise, and where I destine that you cannot heal her, I will renew her body.”
Then, He created and brought forth animals to be companion and friend, for cheer and play.
He looked in awe of the splendor of His hands and said, “All is ready, and it is good.”
Finally, crafting with His own hands, He formed the Glory of His Creation, His Bride, to live in the Garden He had prepared.
Together they communed in peace and happiness. The Lover had never been so full of joy….
But soon, the Bride was deceived by a great Enemy and cast out.
The Lover, broken and filled with sorrow watched as His Beloved drifted farther and farther from Him.
To the trees her offspring said, “Your fruit is too sweet and not good for our bodies, we will not consume it.” And they limited their children from it as well.
To the vegetables they said, “You are too high in starches, and the rest of you are meager. We do not wish to consume you, either.”
Turning to the beasts given by the Lover to be companions, they ate of their flesh and drank of their milk, abusing them to satisfy their thirsts and hunger.
When they became sick, and forced sickness on each other, they trampled down the plants the Lover had crafted, and said, “We will grind the rocks instead.” Pulling from mines and refining chemicals, using the waste from different sources-even from the dead, saying “surely these will heal us!” These did not heal their sickness, and made them worse. They dug for more stones and strained through more waste, and more of the dead, to find their cures.

The Lover watched as His Bride trampled down the beauty He had given them, overcome with sorrow and anger. He sent floods to wash out their crops, frost to ruin their trees, fires to burn their vineyards, storms to display His glory – but His Bride made excuses, “It is us, we have done this, our hands are causing this to happen.” Some yet said they themselves had managed to create these disasters to destroy each other.

So few turned to Him, delighting in His gifts.
To those who did He blessed them with health and peace, for they looked to Him and said, “Your Creation is enough for Me, and I will Delight in you, all of my days. I will eat and make use of your Garden. For you created the world in Perfection and I praise you for providing for My needs, and designing them by hand to prepare a place for Us, before you even made us.”

Endless Stillness

Another day of hell has come and passed

And I’m still here.  Why am I still here?

Another day of endless waiting ended

I’m still sitting still, sitting still.

It’s so still.  It’s all still.

Another empty day has passed on by

Crying.

Let us out of this broken cycle

It’s all so still.  It’s all so still

Suffocating in this shame and guilt

Wondering how I got here

Wondering how to leave

Endlessly she keeps pushing at me

Endlessly she just wont go away

Endlessly the nights all end in brokenness I can’t overcome.
Another day of hell has come and passed

I’m still here.  Why am I still here?
Endlessly we wait in stillness for something to fall

I don’t know what it is, it just hasn’t happened yet

Someone once said this too shall pass, it’s never gone away

Life happens in cycles

I seem to recycle the same story over and over 

The heroine escaped, she finally ran away

Into the arms of tranny, where she ran back again

Someone still the sounds of madness crying through the night

We are all praying, we can’t stop praying

Reality is broken, do you even know who you are anymore?
Another day of hell has come and gone.

I’m still here. What am I doing here?

Shattered Pieces Never To Be The Same

Lost.  Empty.  Frozen.
I’m going to break now, I’m feeling a break down.
Wandering alone, broken.
I’m going to melt now, I’m feeling the melt down.

I want to destroy everything you built.
I want to burn your horizons until you start to wilt.
Shattered, doesn’t even matter
Nothing stops this bleeding
Battered, heart-wrenched torn and tattered
I can’t keep from bleeding
Nothing stops this bleeding
What are we going to do?
(Can you feel how much I hate you?)
Where will we go from here, now?
(I’ve lost my way from here now)
Hopelessly bound, no light shining through
(What are we going to do?)
As darkness hides the way out, what are we gonna do?

In broken faith I look up to the one who turned away
Holding my breath with a prayer I don’t have the strength to say
It’s so daunting to have to look towards the empty sky
When I’ve never felt like God has ever heard my cry

You’ve destroyed my hope in reaching out for help
When it all broke down you were just trying to save yourself
I hope someone will call you out for all your lies
That someday everyone might see through your righteous disguise

I want to destroy everything you built.
I want to burn your horizons until you start to wilt.
Shattered, doesn’t even matter
Nothing stops this bleeding
Battered, heart-wrenched torn and tattered
I can’t keep from bleeding
Nothing stops this bleeding
What are we going to do?
(Can you feel how much I hate you?)
Where will we go from here, now?
(I’ve lost my way from here now)
Hopelessly bound, no light shining through
(What are we going to do?)
As darkness hides the way out, what are we gonna do?

What’s left to trust,
When it’s clear you’re not like us?
What’s left to hold on to,
When the world’s filled with people like you?

Empty. Hopeless. Frozen.
Shattered pieces none can fix.
Abandoned. Volatile. Broken.
Karma will make you pay for this.

The Color of Rain

I’d rather stay inside and watch from afar
To stay far away, so you can’t see my scar
I’d rather keep quiet when you’re all around
Than to ever let on my ships run aground
Isolate myself with my insecurity
Surrender myself to the absurdity
That I will eventually be okay.

I like to cry alone when no one can hear
I like to drown out alone with my fear
Wherever I go, I know I can paint a smile for you
I’ll tell you I’m fine, although all the while, it’s true
I’m dying inside, a little more each time I’m with you.

Confident I collapse to my anxiety
Hoping that somehow you’ll hear me
The emptiness inside suffocates my heart
Will anyone come and break me apart?
Break me apart to let me out

Isolated willingly by all my doubt and fear
Wishing somehow someone might see me here
Reach deep inside, and draw me out
Can anyone come and sate this drought?