The Color of Rain

I’d rather stay inside and watch from afar
To stay far away, so you can’t see my scar
I’d rather keep quiet when you’re all around
Than to ever let on my ships run aground
Isolate myself with my insecurity
Surrender myself to the absurdity
That I will eventually be okay.

I like to cry alone when no one can hear
I like to drown out alone with my fear
Wherever I go, I know I can paint a smile for you
I’ll tell you I’m fine, although all the while, it’s true
I’m dying inside, a little more each time I’m with you.

Confident I collapse to my anxiety
Hoping that somehow you’ll hear me
The emptiness inside suffocates my heart
Will anyone come and break me apart?
Break me apart to let me out

Isolated willingly by all my doubt and fear
Wishing somehow someone might see me here
Reach deep inside, and draw me out
Can anyone come and sate this drought?

Advertisements

Lost Without You

I wait for you to hear me.  To listen to my heart.  To reach out to me and love me.  But you wont, and I fall apart.
I wait for you to come.  Silently. Endlessly.  Instead you manage your own life.  You don’t notice me as I fall apart.

The screaming of my silence is lost upon your ears.  You fill the gaps with meaningless conversation, missing all my tears.  Shrouded in this emptiness, wishing you were here.  I hold myself as I rock to sleep, why can’t you be here?

What is love if only one is taking care of it?  Why is it so easy for you to miss what’s going on?
Have you even noticed that we’ve drifted apart?  Why is it so easy for you to only miss me when you’re gone?
I sit beside you listening to you ramble into the night.  You haven’t once stopped to see if I care.  Is it that great to hear yourself talk?  As I drown in your words, waiting for you to come up for air.

The screaming of my silence is lost upon your ears.  You fill the gaps with meaningless conversation, missing all my tears.  Shrouded in this emptiness, wishing you were here.  I hold myself as I rock to sleep, why are you even here?

Alone, alone I cry out for you.  But you can’t hear me anymore.  It makes me wonder if you ever did before, how can we take much more?  This ship is running into the shore again.

How does it sound to hear yourself talk?  Did it ever occur to you that I might need to, too.
How does it feel to be by yourself on this walk?
Did it ever occur to you?  Did it ever occur to you?

The screaming of my silence is lost upon your ears.  You fill the gaps with meaningless conversation, missing all my tears.  Shrouded in this emptiness, wishing you were here.  I hold myself as I rock to sleep…
The screaming of my silence is lost upon your ears.  You fill the gaps with meaningless conversation, missing all my tears.  Shrouded in this emptiness, wishing you were here.  I hold myself as I rock to sleep, why can’t you be here?
Why can’t you be here?