Endless Stillness

Another day of hell has come and passed

And I’m still here.  Why am I still here?

Another day of endless waiting ended

I’m still sitting still, sitting still.

It’s so still.  It’s all still.

Another empty day has passed on by

Crying.

Let us out of this broken cycle

It’s all so still.  It’s all so still

Suffocating in this shame and guilt

Wondering how I got here

Wondering how to leave

Endlessly she keeps pushing at me

Endlessly she just wont go away

Endlessly the nights all end in brokenness I can’t overcome.
Another day of hell has come and passed

I’m still here.  Why am I still here?
Endlessly we wait in stillness for something to fall

I don’t know what it is, it just hasn’t happened yet

Someone once said this too shall pass, it’s never gone away

Life happens in cycles

I seem to recycle the same story over and over 

The heroine escaped, she finally ran away

Into the arms of tranny, where she ran back again

Someone still the sounds of madness crying through the night

We are all praying, we can’t stop praying

Reality is broken, do you even know who you are anymore?
Another day of hell has come and gone.

I’m still here. What am I doing here?

Helpless Dependent

 I made the choice to change my whole life

Remember it as I hold this trembling knife

Drag it across my skin, then go and put it down again.

I’m not evicted from my home

I just choose to be alone

We all got away, from all the lonely pain

But this is not what I’d expected

This is not how it should have ended
I’ll pretend to be okay

If it gets me through this lonely today

I can paint a smile

And I can laugh for a little while

Make this moment melt away

Until I make it to you to stay

Forbid that I should die alone

I can’t do this on my own

Help me up when I’m not strong

This crashing down is dragging me along

A Millers Daughter

Spinning wheels crumbling

Baskets of gold go tumbling

The Millers Daughter goes back to rags

Not even a glimmering strain

 No chainlinks of hope remain

Cast out she goes among the hags

Rumplestiltskin is a liar

She is marched to a pyre

Poor Millers Daughter, taking the blame

Who could blame her hoping

To be more than blindly groping

Desiring to come out above her Fated lot

And now it seems Fate betrayed her

Rumplestiltskin was no savior

Cackling bystander mock what she is not

Broken lady, enslaved in grief

May your painful fate be brief

May there be mourning when you are found

Abandon hope Millers Daughter

Your kind has litte hope of Honor

A Sinners grave the final empty mocking ground

Stranger In My Eyes

Large blue eyes stare blankly in the mirror.  Whatever are they searching for?

They’re encumbered in somber dullness.  The gaze drifting lifelessly to other realms.

Capsized in a Universe of thought, stuck in a loop to repeat the painful moments over and over.

Just when everything felt Right it crashed down.

Just when the world began to make sense, like a card tower the pieces just blew away.

It all scattered to the wind when the fray of tempests began to creep in.

The gaze staring back in large blue eyes, cries out for help.  Like a scream from my soul, drowning in the blue of the ocean.

Happiness, what faulty prey, to waste your hopes on emotions.  Clearly passive strength will only last for so long before the tides topple it over.

As the mushroom cloud begins to subside, golden rain pours down to eat away my fleshly sorrows.

And still the reflection stares, begging to understand.  Begging that some kind of Hope will ring true in all the tipsy-turvy.

For I will not return home.  I cannot.  I was dead and alone.  Buried in my empty dreams.

At least there is breath in my lungs.  A chance to start over.  A chance to taste freedom from this cold, dark cage I once lived in.

Shall I be free again?  Remain so?

I cannot tell.  For my eyes dull their shine to Remember.  Oh I remember still.

Ashes

Pretty things all turn to ashes

Chopped up, broken, rust and scratches

Everything must come to an end.

And seen through the glass

Only shadows now pass

Unaware of the loss of a friend.

Despair reaches icy fingers

Where hopeless thought lingers

Playing the songs of the dead.

Biting cold steel

Reminds I can feel

And the carpet dries in red.

Promise of Affliction

Don’t speak.

Words hurt.

Don’t try to pursue the chaos.

It’s poisonous.

I’m cyanide.

I will only shatter you to pieces.

Don’t come too close.

I’m far too gone to save.

What kind of life do I promise?

What kind of joy could I bring?

The madness spins and spins.

Straw is turning to ash.

How can a broken heart produce gold?

Pretend with me the world is okay.

Pretend with me that I never hurt.

This box can cram shut.

Demons skipping around the room,

Laughing as the pieces continue to scatter.

Lament with me over the broken pieces.

And when I’ve stopped weeping, just go.

Wounded hearts feel the deepest of hope.

They feel the deepest heartache.

Chaos rages into the night.

The Dark is snickering.

Why?  What was my problem?

How could I be so easily disposable,

And so easily adored?

I’m a suicide note waiting to happen.

I’m good at pushing loved ones away.

I’m even better at hiding that anything was ever wrong.

And to think this chaos only started last week.

A sealed box of history past crashed open.

Suddenly a lifetime of memories feel like they happened yesterday.

Playing in Naïvety

I remember the first time it felt this cold.

I remember sobbing, watching careless eyes burn across the way.

I remember the first time it hurt to breathe.

I always loved the longest.

Whatever caused my heart to trust, to hope so deeply, needs to die.

I am the eyeless man with just a head who cried, yes! yes! as he was taken advantage of.  Giving away his posessions so willingly, and yet so foolishly.

I am the tree who has succumbed to winter.  Precious few leaves still clinging.

Whatever was I thinking?

I am my own perfect enemy.  And the war needs to come to an end.