A Letter To My Prince Charming 

Dear Prince Charming,

I don’t know where I went wrong, you were not my lover true.

I waited around for all those years, the only one I ever wanted was you.

Every hour ticked by, the ticking made me go insane.

The dragon became my pet, soon I was no one to save.

Or maybe perhaps the pet must have been me?

After all those years the dragon and I were both so empty.

I opened the door and let us out, having to settle for less and figure out my own way.

Hey there Prince Charming,

It’s been a while since I gave up on finding you.

I wish you hadn’t given up on finding me, too.

Whoever she is I hope that you’re settled down,

Whoever she is I hope you have a family now,

A little boy or little girl as an heir to carry on your name.

Since I was never one you thought to come and save.

How am I?  I’m doing alright, the dragon is gone he took flight,

He left me with two kids of my own.

Dear Prince Charming,

Are you listening to the wind as it blows through your kingdom?

If you can hear my voice, I’m crying out for freedom.

Locked inside where they can’t see, the dragon left his fire in me,

Every once in a while it escapes and burns down everything.

If I make it through this life, perhaps one day you might find me?

I’ll run to you with open arms, start crying this song I’m writing….

Dear Prince Charming, it’s been so long since I’ve been held in loving arms.

Dear Prince Charming, all I remember of what hope felt like is the scars.

After all the time I waited for you, I gave up hope and pushed on.

Love blew out like a hurricane, my light is faded, hope is gone….

Prince Charming did you give up looking for me too?

All I want is for one day to be locked up safe inside, with you.

Caught Daydreaming II

A skip in my chest.  Warmth spreads from the center, tendrils flowing toward my shoulders.

My arms curl around myself in reaction.  I sigh, closing my eyes, and suddenly you are there with me.

A hand flows with my hair, drawing gently on my neck to bring me into you.  I feel your face to my cheek.  Your lips gently press into my shoulder, and a shiver spreads behind my ear down to my back.

The fan swirls air about me.  The tease takes me back to dreaming.

Dreaming of happiness.  Dreaming of adventures.

Dreaming of sitting next to you as I sit and write.  To feel your shoulder against mine.

To hear your breath, a sniff, to watch you create worlds of your own as I create mine.

To taste your flesh.  To feel your lips to mine.

Projecting you into my daily routine.  I get lost in the idea.  It causes me to stop.

It distracts me.  Suddenly my mind goes blank.  And when it does, it fills with you.

Over Soon

Tell me this is gonna pass

Tell me it’ll all be over soon

This is it.  I got away, made my escape

What happens next?

Where do I go from here?

I didn’t plan that far ahead

I did all I could just to survive

And now I’m looking through the glass

Discovering a world I never knew existed

There is light.  There is freedom. There is love.

But how can I truly deserve it?

Look at the road where I have been 

Look at all I came through

How can I be worthy of walking in light?

How can I be worthy of your love?

It’s comfortable to be here.

Comfortable to rest inside the hope

That maybe I might be free at last

No more pain or broken pieces

It’s hard to let them go.

Hard to trust in something Real for once.

It’s uncomfortable to fear the worst

It’s uncomfortable to think that I am worth it–

When until this point I have not been

I’m so imperfect.  I’m so broken.

The perfect trophy fell off of the shelf

And she shattered.

Every shard reminds me of the past

Each regret carved into my flesh.

But you say I’m everything.

That you want me.

How can this be?

Can someone truly want me, for me?

I know I make mistakes, I can name them all

I know one of them was him.

I know I destroyed myself

I’m so imperfect.

But if you can wait and see, this is not Me.

I know I’m someone else, and someone else is breaking out of Me.

This will all be over soon,

I will be stronger than ever I was before.

But that doesn’t mean that I am mended

It takes time to scar over, and scars never fade

I promise I’ll be back to normal soon

This will all finally be over soon

Awakening To Light 

Behind me lies a dark forest

I was trapped with no way out for so long

When a soft glimmer of light  caught my eye

Tearing through thorny bushes I tracked it

Urgency pounded in my chest as each step took me closer to the edge of the forest

Who knew an edge existed?

Who knew the darkness wasn’t where I belonged?

I escaped to breathe fresh air and dance in cool grass

But the wounds from the thorn bushes reminded me that I did not belong in this pasture

I turned back to the forest, armed with a tiny sword

Monsters jumped me when I went back

Ones I never knew were there before 

Slaying the monsters was impossible

They were stronger and greater than I

My sword broke and I ran

Vines crept out and tangled around my ankle, their thorns biting my flesh

I looked around alone, having been warned this was foolish

Frantically I used what was left of my sword to cut the vines from my ankles

As the monsters came screaming I ran from the forest and back out into the sun

The beasts growled angrily, afraid of the light trying to trap me with their wiles

Words were futile

While I was a bleeding, broken mess my resolve was never stronger

I was not going back.

Shadows of Gray

The world is different through my eyes

Where you see sunlight filtered through clouds, I see every shade of yellow and gray.  You see relief from the glare, I see magic being birthed.

When you see a panhandler with his sign on a corner, you see incompetence and addiction.  I see a broken, humiliated man with a story to tell.

When you see the rain falling on the road, you grumble at getting wet or watching drivers overreact.  I see the glint of light and allow the sound of rain to soothe my soul.

Where there is darkness in the forest you fear for ghosts.  I watch for faeries to appear.

When mountain peaks are washed in golden sunlight, you see majesty, but I see nature communicating as the mountain thanks the sun for its warmth.

When you stare out at the ocean, you see its surface beauty.  But I hear the souls of the world calling out across the distance, and delight in the ancient waters that have circled the entire globe.  Ireland kisses my feet.  The waters the Messiah crossed have evaporated, gathered in the sky, and fallen in tempests on the ocean.  Pilgrims crossed the waters.  Wayfinders journeyed across the waters, using the stars to guide them.

When you complain about the sand that gets in and on everything, I see millions of shells that have been worn down and deposited safely on the shore to rest.

Where you see the desert, I see a sea of glass waiting to happen.

People are sad and depressed.  You see another person who “doesn’t get it”, and I see heartache, desperation, desire to be more than this– and survival.

Perspective is a flip of a switch.

We all have different vantage points.

Mine invites you to see the world in different colors, when all most see is shadows of gray.

Refining Fire

​The fire rages in my chest

Burns away all my regrets

Ashes blow in the wind
In the burning vault

I’m reminded of my fault

Every foul deed I rescind
Pressure is burning hot

Etching away what I am not

This pain will make me new
Diamonds are refining

I can feel them shining

This pain will make me new
It’s brutal and it hurts

Like walking in reverse

Memories stuck in replay
Each fault and daring taunt

Of who I am and who I’m not

What I was is torn away
I will come out brighter

From the Master’s fire

I will be made new

I can be brand new

Waking Up

The sky is finally beginning to turn blue again.

I couldn’t have gotten this far without patient grace.

Eclipsed by the pain, eclipsed by years gone by, the shadows took me off guard.

Gentle understanding helped get me by in ways I never expected to find.

My heart is full, and my soul at ease.

Bittersweet sorrow, masses of regret; memories that I don’t have to fear anymore.

Awoken at last, from the darkest age of slumber I am free to breathe.

My sincerest of hopes, and greatest of dreams.  All resting together in one tender glimmer of peace.

Pursuit is becoming stable, and I shall run toward the goal in newness of life!