Yesterday, I was 30

I’m going to be cliche and write 30 things I have learned in the last 30 years, in light of turning 30 yesterday.

  1. Your love language is extremely important to understand.
  2. Nothing in life ever goes the way you planned.
  3. The most important role in your life is simply to be You.
  4. When your world shatters, don’t make dumb decisions.
  5. The people who are supposed to love you the most, have the strongest ability to tear you apart.
  6. Trust is fleeting.
  7. Fulfillment doesn’t exist in mortal things.
  8. If you know with the core of your being you shouldn’t do something, don’t do it.
  9. Pleasing people gets you nowhere.
  10. You’re going to miss the most important things in life if you rush through and don’t stop to listen and consider the “why shouldn’t I do this?”
  11. You cannot rely on someone else to be what you need. They will fail you when you need them most.
  12. If friends are distant, just let them go. No matter how much it hurts.
  13. If you matter to someone, they will keep you in their life.
  14. Children are the most delightful joy you will ever possess in this Life.
  15. If someone is relying on you, always make sure to accomplish what they need in a reliable amount of time.
  16. It’s better to lie to everyone that you’re okay, than tell them when it’s not.
  17. Life is continually disappointing, and there’s no turning back from a mistake.
  18. Everyone has an opinion. Seek the Truth, that is what matters most.
  19. God will never leave you, or forsake you.
  20. Jesus Christ is literally the only entity you can count on.
  21. If you know it is a bad idea DON’T DO IT.
  22. Staying stuck on the things that make you unhappy, makes you unhappier.
  23. There is so much peace in silence.
  24. Making friends past 25 is hard.
  25. Isolating yourself, while it does protect you, only makes you lonely.
  26. Sometimes, you go through things in life, and literally have NOBODY you can actually talk to about it.
  27. The loneliest place you can be, is in a crowded room where no one knows you.
  28. The second loneliest place you can be, is in a crowded room where everyone knows you, but you cannot connect with those people, no matter how hard you’ve tried.
  29. Having friends with things in common is worth Gold.
  30. Don’t be afraid to take chances.

Dismal list, the inside of me isn’t exactly the happy, bubbly Sprite I try to be.
Because of my own loneliness, I try so desperately to light the world around me, so others know someone loves them, someone thinks they’re important, and someone doesn’t want them to know the same emptiness I feel.
You can always rely on me to be there for you. No matter the time of day.

Shine brighter than the stars. Even when it kills you inside.

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Unplugged

So many of my URL friends are familiar with my grievances against Facebook and the forced switch mobile users had to make to the Messenger app.

I hate it.  I love it’s conveniently designed instant messaging, I love it’s convenient chat feature, and the stickers, and that I can talk to everyone in the world…..

But I hate the app itself for its invasive required accesses, and how it makes my phone lag.

Lately, I’ve been considering my Relevance to society and whether or not Social Media actually needs me around.  If I could slip away, how many of my URL friends would notice?

What is my relevance?  I’m a Writer like hundreds of other people.  I don’t have anything else to say advice-wise that others haven’t said before me.

I’m honest and to the point, sit down and write.  Everything else can wait.

I can give you writing prompts, but there are literally hundreds of other people who have done/are doing that very thing.

All sorts of A-Type people are conquering the world, and doing what I do-only they’re much more upfront and straight forward about it.

I stop and feel the sunshine, and smell the roses, and mourn the passing of dead fish, and roadkill, and am distracted by everything around me.  I day dream all day long and forget I didn’t write any of it down.

It’s not a good thing, however.  I really need to hone in and find some kind of Groundwire, or I’ll waste my entire life away, having never published the world of Eldegras.

Perhaps the world will end.  But people will still want to read books.

Perhaps nuclear bombs will destroy America, and our economy will collapse, and I’ll have wasted away my time procrastinating instead of publishing a book.

It doesn’t matter how or what happens, if I never pursue my dreams, they’ll never come true.  No amount of wishing on stars and meteors will help.

Am I relevant?  Is my book worth it?  Is someone going to read it?  Love it?  Want more of it?

Every B-Type personality has this struggle.  We feel Deeply, and in feeling Deeply, we carry more than our own weight on our shoulders.

At the end of the day, we’re exhausted from smiling and interacting with the World from the Surface.  Our thoughts and emotions attack us in the dark and keep us up for hours.

That’s why Writers drink so much caffeine.  ((Coffee, tea….))  oh, and alcohol of course.

Maybe one day I’ll figure it out, come out of the other side of this block, and have my series finished.
Maybe one day.

Perhaps it starts by unplugging.  Turning off Social Media and the inner turmoil our brains encounter interacting with it.  We’re wired to crave community.  But must we crave it so much it controls us?

Checking to see if someone checked on you.  Checking to see if someone commented.  Checking to just kill time mindlessly.

Relying on these interactions to feel fulfilled by fellow human  beings who share common interests –like killing time on the Internet.
Whatever it is, it starts with a choice.  A rally to action to Do The Thing!  And to believe in yourself enough to do it well.