Rejection : The Common Core

I remember crying as you watched

My heart aching

Breaking down and not understanding why

I trusted you

I trusted you with my soul

You broke it

It’s never been the same since you

Rejection

A nine letter word, so tiny in the vernacular

And yet it shreds us to pieces

Our first rejection shadows us

Creating the lense we see ourselves through

One rejection after the next

We conclude it is us that is the problem

We cause others to deny our worth

We cry out for validation!

Validate me! Validate me!

Again and again to face rejection

The monsters enslaving us

Causing us to sin–

They rejected us first

And we reject ourselves ever since

We are not good enough

We are not intelligent

We are not beautiful

I am not beautiful

I am the itching scabs of leprosy

Oozing from the wounds that never heal

Loving the loudest

Loving the longest

Loving so no one knows this pain

Pushing away and building the walls to keep you from seeing the wounded animal I am inside

I’m terrified if you knew my pain you’d see that I’m a fraud

I am the perception Rejection has spoken over me

You create

You sing

You play

For I am unworthy to speak the voices and sing the notes of my Fantasies inside

Rejection visited me, too, and I had nowhere to hide

Endless Screaming

The voices in my head.
The baby in her bed.
The toddler in the hall…..
Someone silence it all.

I’m so tired, I’m so done.
I just need somewhere to run.
Make it stop! Send relief!
I feel like I can’t breathe.

One will stop, the other start.
They’re tearing my skull apart.
It’s ringing in my ears,
Driving me to tears.

If anyone can hear me,
Come and make it stop.
Why can’t they let me be?
Night wont seem to drop.

Go to sleep, just let me rest!
Please stop scratching at my chest.
Silence your shudders and cries.
Close your mouth, close your eyes.

Drift away and give me a break.
I’m losing my mind, for goodness sake.