Over Again

The air is thin.

It causes my lungs to collapse.

So much at stake starting over again.

Blood pounds viciously through my veins.

I can feel my anxiety as though it were crawling in my flesh.

My head spins.

My breath is short.

My throat constricts.

Unhappiness it lingers.

There is Joy nowhere.

The darkness gets darker still.

I feel trapped, I feel alone.

The loneliness fills my soul with mourning.

Mourning what was not.

Mourning what never has been.

Wandering back through the memories to a time when we were more than this.

What has gone right?

Everything even started wrong.

Two little ones I created even forgotten most days by you.

How is neglect love?

Or sitting together but never talking?

How is this important, when I’ve seen all that was not?

Don’t fool yourself, it isn’t working.

Two neglected hearts are broken.

Three, but mine never truly trusted anyway.

And so here we are.

And now I’m even more lonely than before.

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Static Electricty

An Ode to Static Electricity
((Sung in a punk rock style))

Dear static electricity
Please let go of me
I wasn’t in the vicinity
But you stuck plastic on my hand

And now I’m wondering
Why you’re hooked on me
I’m like a submarine
With a healthy fear of land

Chorus
Shockingly I run into you, sets my hair on end
I don’t have a need for the negativity you send
Get over yourself, my dear, you wont phase my heart
I’ll be leaving when I can finally pull my clothes apart

I can’t appreciate this shocking force
You’re grabbing for me from the floor
I’m positive we need a divorce
It’s so dry, it’s too worn, you don’t understand

The lightning strike was just too much
Is there anything you wont touch?
Someone get me some glass
I wont allow you to conduct a spark
You’re attacking me alone in the dark
Eventually this too shall pass

Chorus

And now I’ve charged my heart to someone else
I’m positive you’ll get over it before too long
Honestly I never felt the spark kindle for myself
Maybe if you didn’t conduct yourself so wrong
I might have chosen to let you light up my heart
Frankly some days I miss your spark

Shattered Pieces Never To Be The Same

Lost.  Empty.  Frozen.
I’m going to break now, I’m feeling a break down.
Wandering alone, broken.
I’m going to melt now, I’m feeling the melt down.

I want to destroy everything you built.
I want to burn your horizons until you start to wilt.
Shattered, doesn’t even matter
Nothing stops this bleeding
Battered, heart-wrenched torn and tattered
I can’t keep from bleeding
Nothing stops this bleeding
What are we going to do?
(Can you feel how much I hate you?)
Where will we go from here, now?
(I’ve lost my way from here now)
Hopelessly bound, no light shining through
(What are we going to do?)
As darkness hides the way out, what are we gonna do?

In broken faith I look up to the one who turned away
Holding my breath with a prayer I don’t have the strength to say
It’s so daunting to have to look towards the empty sky
When I’ve never felt like God has ever heard my cry

You’ve destroyed my hope in reaching out for help
When it all broke down you were just trying to save yourself
I hope someone will call you out for all your lies
That someday everyone might see through your righteous disguise

I want to destroy everything you built.
I want to burn your horizons until you start to wilt.
Shattered, doesn’t even matter
Nothing stops this bleeding
Battered, heart-wrenched torn and tattered
I can’t keep from bleeding
Nothing stops this bleeding
What are we going to do?
(Can you feel how much I hate you?)
Where will we go from here, now?
(I’ve lost my way from here now)
Hopelessly bound, no light shining through
(What are we going to do?)
As darkness hides the way out, what are we gonna do?

What’s left to trust,
When it’s clear you’re not like us?
What’s left to hold on to,
When the world’s filled with people like you?

Empty. Hopeless. Frozen.
Shattered pieces none can fix.
Abandoned. Volatile. Broken.
Karma will make you pay for this.

Lost Without You

I wait for you to hear me.  To listen to my heart.  To reach out to me and love me.  But you wont, and I fall apart.
I wait for you to come.  Silently. Endlessly.  Instead you manage your own life.  You don’t notice me as I fall apart.

The screaming of my silence is lost upon your ears.  You fill the gaps with meaningless conversation, missing all my tears.  Shrouded in this emptiness, wishing you were here.  I hold myself as I rock to sleep, why can’t you be here?

What is love if only one is taking care of it?  Why is it so easy for you to miss what’s going on?
Have you even noticed that we’ve drifted apart?  Why is it so easy for you to only miss me when you’re gone?
I sit beside you listening to you ramble into the night.  You haven’t once stopped to see if I care.  Is it that great to hear yourself talk?  As I drown in your words, waiting for you to come up for air.

The screaming of my silence is lost upon your ears.  You fill the gaps with meaningless conversation, missing all my tears.  Shrouded in this emptiness, wishing you were here.  I hold myself as I rock to sleep, why are you even here?

Alone, alone I cry out for you.  But you can’t hear me anymore.  It makes me wonder if you ever did before, how can we take much more?  This ship is running into the shore again.

How does it sound to hear yourself talk?  Did it ever occur to you that I might need to, too.
How does it feel to be by yourself on this walk?
Did it ever occur to you?  Did it ever occur to you?

The screaming of my silence is lost upon your ears.  You fill the gaps with meaningless conversation, missing all my tears.  Shrouded in this emptiness, wishing you were here.  I hold myself as I rock to sleep…
The screaming of my silence is lost upon your ears.  You fill the gaps with meaningless conversation, missing all my tears.  Shrouded in this emptiness, wishing you were here.  I hold myself as I rock to sleep, why can’t you be here?
Why can’t you be here?