Remnants of the Past

I remember a different life.  You can’t hold that against me.
I hold to a different way. You can’t hold that against me.
All the pain I hide inside, all of me that’s wasting away.
All the memories of a distant life, they’re fading out slowly.

You never wanted me for who I was, but only what you could see.
You never wanted me for who I am, but what you want in me.
I tried my hardest to continue pushing on,
But I can’t push on if I don’t know what I’m fighting for.
I tried my hardest, but my hardest is gone
I can’t push on if I don’t know what I’m fighting for.

I remember a different life.  You can’t hold that against me.
I hold to a different way.  You can’t hold that against me.
All the pain I hide inside, all of me that’s wasting away.
All the memories of a distant life, they’re fading out slowly.

 

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All That’s Left

Tear my heart out, rip my soul in two.
Then rebuild me to the image that best suits you.
I’ll hide away all the parts of me that hurt,
I’ll wrestle my soul down to convert.

I’ll pretend to be who I’m not until night has drawn.
Cry alone until another empty day will dawn.

Take away the illusions of love inside my head.
Remind me dreams of romance and hope are dead.
I’ve got nothing left to offer that hasn’t been torn apart,
What am I supposed to do with the rest of my broken heart?

Never Ending Fantasies

What do you do when you figure out you missed it?
How do you pick up the pieces when you realize it’s never going to be the same it could have been?

Trust is meaningless. Hope is frail. Illusions of a dream never meant to come true.

Prince Charming is a joke. Love is elusive, meant for tales we weave beyond our woes.

Dreamers exist to brighten the world with fallacies. We lose ourselves in the romance of fantasy.

Dreams and wishes our hearts make put us fast to sleep, slumbering in clouds to escape reality.

Reading ourselves stories to brighten the night, where every happy ending is true. For who reads to remind themself life is frail?

And now broken love remains. A light to shine out to the others, perhaps someone might be cheered from this endless gloom.

Take heart, hope at least burns for someone. It doesn’t mean reality gets better. But at least you know someone cares. I can care enough for you when you lose sight of yourself.

Creative Energy

I have so much creative energy swirling in my head, and not the slightest idea how to let it out.  I pick up my sketch book, and it doesn’t help.
I open up a WIP document, and that’s not where it wants to flow either.

I open up my blog, and spend the next twenty minutes organizing blog posts so my flash fiction, Faet & Fantasy reads in order.  The first two episodes weren’t in the line up so I had to go fishing for them.  Now, they are ALL only categorized under ONE category.

After that, I had to take my son to martial arts, but my mind is a bursting flood of energy refusing to calm.

Perhaps it has to do with recent ignition, though I don’t know where the inspiration came from, however it has not stopped.  Meanwhile, I have little to show for it, though I direly wish to ride the wave where it will carry me!

Especially if it means I finish my first write so I can start editing it….  Though, this is a way off to finish, if I keep the energy up, perhaps the book can be done by the end of this year?

Many people are waiting on me to finish something, I don’t particularly know why I haven’t.  Maybe this Christmas I’ll sneak a peak into Eldegras for everyone with my Yule story finished.  Publish to Wattpad, get a few more short stories out there as teasers, and viola, the series comes along?

It sounds like a good idea in theory.  The execution is where I have trouble….

Today I miss having a piano.  I miss writing songs and poems.  Why have I stopped?  What possessed me to close up and hide within myself?

It surely hasn’t been a good thing, and only left me feeling directionless and without purpose…..

Here’s to purpose and raising more blog posts and stories again.  Once a writer, always a writer.  And I have most definitely always been a writer.

Flicker

Amidst the drowning there was a shore where light flashed with comfort.

Amidst the storm there was a whisper that helped to still the waves.

While chaos ensued there was a tether that helped ground sanity.

And while trapped within the frozen lake, footsteps resounded remaining a spark of hope.

Madness encumbered, trapped in the perfect cage.

Keyless entry, oh what a twist!  A prisoner to remain.

And why the Manipulator gets their way, and the prisoner does remain what frustrating puzzlement is this?

A beautiful trap awaited, the Fates are such a tease.

Forbidden fruit, what amazing bites, the taste being not for me.

Such sweet lies to fall into along the broken road tread, each one wrapped in their own disguise.  The scent is always the same.

Silly Pawn, the game is on!

Trusting illusions.  Trusting the disguise.

Alone in this frightful forest, Fate’s games I will slay on my own.

Of the Oppressed

So this is hell, where I should die

A grave I dug for myself

To lie down and slowly fade

All that I am to shift and suffocate

Dirt heaped in abusive piles snuffing out my life

The airs toxic, my lungs ache from holding my breath

I deserve it.  I am the coward who ran away

Running to safety, or running to death?

Who of us can tell.

I will die here, gasping for air and sweet release 

Alas none shall I find, for true freedom is not my Fate.

Free Falling

The Fear shakes me to my core

I’m falling without support

I have come undone

It’s too late to tell

How far I already fell

I cry out in desperate needing

Can anyone stop this bleeding

Alone I watch my whole world fade

Grounding wires help me find the way

On them I tripped

Carelessly I slipped

Nothing makes sense anymore

I must be Braver than before

Closing my eyes to block out the sound

Suddenly I can feel the ground