Tumbling

Alone.

I ache.

Inside I churn and toss.

This way– that way–

I created this merry-go-round.

Make it stop spinning,

Let me off.

A hole rests ahead.

And yet it seems a canyon.

I have been to this canyon before.

I cry out to you!

Screaming from the core of me.

Love me! All of me.

But you don’t hear me.

I am drenched in my tears.

I am alone.

The cavern in my chest collapsing around me.

Why do you abandon me?

Why don’t you seek me?

Why don’t you call to me?

Why do you leave me here?

Disconnected.

We are not One.

I am alone.

When I call to you, you silence me.

You do not reach back.

You put your hands on me.

But they don’t want my heart.

You want to connect with me in your way.

You do not find me the same.

I am alone.

Tumbling. Crumbling.

Dying.

My breath is faint within me.

I waste away.

End me.

Stop sending me tumbling.

Stop trying to hold my flesh,

While my heart bleeds out in your hands.

Remnants of the Past

I remember a different life.  You can’t hold that against me.
I hold to a different way. You can’t hold that against me.
All the pain I hide inside, all of me that’s wasting away.
All the memories of a distant life, they’re fading out slowly.

You never wanted me for who I was, but only what you could see.
You never wanted me for who I am, but what you want in me.
I tried my hardest to continue pushing on,
But I can’t push on if I don’t know what I’m fighting for.
I tried my hardest, but my hardest is gone
I can’t push on if I don’t know what I’m fighting for.

I remember a different life.  You can’t hold that against me.
I hold to a different way.  You can’t hold that against me.
All the pain I hide inside, all of me that’s wasting away.
All the memories of a distant life, they’re fading out slowly.

 

Never Ending Fantasies

What do you do when you figure out you missed it?
How do you pick up the pieces when you realize it’s never going to be the same it could have been?

Trust is meaningless. Hope is frail. Illusions of a dream never meant to come true.

Prince Charming is a joke. Love is elusive, meant for tales we weave beyond our woes.

Dreamers exist to brighten the world with fallacies. We lose ourselves in the romance of fantasy.

Dreams and wishes our hearts make put us fast to sleep, slumbering in clouds to escape reality.

Reading ourselves stories to brighten the night, where every happy ending is true. For who reads to remind themself life is frail?

And now broken love remains. A light to shine out to the others, perhaps someone might be cheered from this endless gloom.

Take heart, hope at least burns for someone. It doesn’t mean reality gets better. But at least you know someone cares. I can care enough for you when you lose sight of yourself.

The Lie

It was easy to say I love you when the emotions were all aglow.

The world was painted in different colors back then.

Had the garrish beams not been as bright, I might have seen the flaws.

The flaws would have changed my mind so much sooner.

They would have set me on edge and made me ask what I had been thinking.

But we’re all flawed.  It wouldn’t be different with another.

Each conversation ends the same.  You fantasize and romanticize along the way of what you desire to be, and yet these all stay as they are.

Nothing changes.

Fluttering hearts hold out for you.  One has resigned to disappontment.

Arms no longer reach with excitement.

Squeals no longer call out your name.

I am no longer the only soul hurt.  Two more joined the till.