Procrastination

Hello friends!
I don’t know if anybody even follows me anymore.  This might just be a shout out in the dark.

I just submitted a third short story for publication.  I’m going to be featured in another anthology!
The premise of the project was to write outside of your usual comfortzone.
My usual genre is High Fantasy/Fantasy.  The category picked for me was Noir.
After looking up what that meant, I was tickled by the anticipation to write a 1940’s conflict.
The first scene came to me in black and white.  I watched it play out live a movie in my head.  And then the next scene followed.  And…. and…. and then….

Well, then I was stuck, see?
So I spent a few weeks trying to get a handle on the story and feel out the way it wanted to be written.

Finally, as the deadline rapidly approaches, I’ve conqured the Voice and am writing at it every moment I get.

Today I finished the final edits and off it went.  Now I wait to know if they liked it, and whether or not I did a good job.

So, Procrastination.  Thats the name of the game.  And each generation does it the same.
Personally, I deal strongly with the idea that I’m a Nobody, and my stories and tales aren’t worth the effort.  Somebody will never read them.  Somebody wont like them.  Anybody can see that I’ve written a book, but as a Nobody, Anybody could leave the book sitting there unopened.

This depression and loathesome style of Self-Worth is entirely common.  Much too common.

Tonight I finished day 2 of a pretty hardcore workout challenge.  It’s not Insanity, it’s a simple challenge that’s amped up to get you going.
I started it yesterday ((obviously)), and the motivation to workout and stick with it is high!  Motivation pumping, my adrenaline is like, “Lets kick this Booty in the Butt!”
And then tomorrow morning will come.  And I’ll face down the depression all over again.

An endless cycle of procrastination and looming deadlines, because I feel inadequate to write the book.  Publish the book.  Make people want the book- in essence, make them want me.

It’s why I barely write here.  I don’t know how to garner a Following, I don’t know how to promote myself.  I don’t even know what I’m doing.

….but little by little I’m doing it.
I’m writing.  I’m making myself heard.  I’m striving to meet the Goal before me, and get into my Pre-Pregnancy jeans!  My wedding dress!  A new ball gown by Nobember!

……my own High Fantasy novel sitting on shelves in Barnes and Noble.  *is struck with starry-eyed dreams*
Going to Fantasy conventions, Comic-Con, Con-DFW, etc….
Feeling the gratification of knowing I am a /Somebody/ instead of a Nobody.

Yeah.  So that’s me.
How are you?

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